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Preparing your child forpreschool can greatly reduce any separation anxiety they may feel when you leave. Here are some ways to familiarise your child with their new environment:
Explain the routines of preschool. Tell them about the games they'll play, the kids they'll meet, and how you'll always be there to pick them up at the end of the day. Don't overhype school, and don't make promises about things you can't control (like making new friends). If your child's initial experience doesn't match their expectations, school may already seem scary, not exciting.
Meet the teacher. Hosting an open house help the parents, teachers, and children can get to know each other. There will likely be many parents vying for the teacher's attention, but make sure you get a chance to chat with them when your child is within earshot. If you show your child that the teacher is someone you like and trust, they will have an easier time forming an attachment.
Visit the school. Before the school year begins, take your child around the classroom and point out the different activities they'll do each day. Also, tell them the name of the school. Over the first week or so leading up to preschool, prepare your child for the first day by saying things that will make them excited and curious to be at school. Also,whenever you're driving by the school, casually point it out to your child.
Set up playdates before the school year. Seeing familiar faces in their class will increase your child's comfort level. You'll get a class list during the summer, and parents can arrange the play dates before the big day.
Keep a positive mindset. Children tend to take cues from their parents. Having a calm and composed mindset around your child will help things go well. Avoid asking if they are scared to experience the new beginning. Asking them if they're scared too many times might make them even more fearful. But if they seem anxious in the days preceding school, reassure them that everything will be OK and that you're nearby if they need you.
Role play. Pretend play with stuffed animals can help your child adjust to the idea that they'll be leaving you, but you'll come back. (For example, their teddy bear goes to school with some other furry friends, and Mommy Teddy leaves and returns after they've sung a song and had a snack).
Read books. Read them books that describe what happens at school. These books provide your child with a sort of dry run of school in the comfort of their own home, where they feel safe.
No matter how much you prepare, your pre-schooler will still be full of nerves on their first day. Here's how to make drop-off a little easier:
Create a goodbye ritual. Having a goodbye routine provides comfort and familiarity, so your child knows what's to come. This could be anything you and your child decide on, such as a special hug or handshake followed by a "See you later, alligator!" Once you've said your goodbyes, it's best to skedaddle so that your child doesn't become preoccupied with your presence. A long farewell scene might only serve to reinforce a child's sense that a preschool is a bad place.
Don't sneak away. That said, some little ones will feel more afraid if you suddenly disappear. It can take up to ten weeks for a child to fully be ready to be left at school without their parent. The best way to handle the separation process is to have the parent go to school and sit next to their child. They should not interact with them in games and toys but rather be there as a safety net.
Bring a comforting object. Have your child bring a little reminder of home to ease their separation anxiety. If they don't have a favourite doll or blanket, even a beloved book or a sippy cup filled with their favourite drink can do the trick. Comfort objectsmay seem like small stuff to you, but they can provide a real sense of security to kids in an unfamiliar environment.
Never make comparisons. When discussing separation anxiety with your child, avoid making comparisons to other children who may not experience the same level of distress. It is crucial to honour your child's process and allow them to work through their emotions at their own pace without feeling pressured or judged.
Remind them that you came back. When you pick them up at the end of the day, reinforce the idea that you came back, just like you said you would. This way, each day's drop-off won't feel like you're both starting to cry and saying upsetting goodbyes all over again.
Consider a reward system. A reward system can be a great way to motivate your child to have a positive attitude towards drop-offs and make the experience more enjoyable for both of you. For example, try giving your kindergartener his or her own calendar where you would put up smiley faces for the days your child went to school without making a fuss and a sad face if they cried or threw a tantrum during drop-off.
Don't minimise the importance of easing your fears as well as your child's. If you feel guilty or worried about leaving them at school, your child will probably sense that. The more calm and assured you are, the more confident your child will be.
Get to know the teacher beforehand. Your child can benefit from meeting their teacherbefore school—but so can you. Ask your child's teacher what their procedure is when children are crying for their parents. Make sure a school staff member is ready to help your child with the transfer from your care to the classroom.
For an easy transition into preschool, it helps to know as much as possible about a child's home life. Their eating, sleeping, and toileting patterns are just as important as knowing their favourite colour, what games they like to play, or what songs they like to sing. It also helps to know what techniques the family uses to calm a child down when she is feeling upset or anxious, so the teachers can try to replicate those techniques in the classroom.
Think of preschool as a life lesson. Many parents may see their child have a bad first reaction to preschool and immediately decide to pull them out of the classroom. Studies have proven that this typical behaviour can have a negative impact on a child's life. It will deny them an opportunity to learn how to work through negative feelings and set a precedent of not having to face problems.
Resist surprise visits Parents should resist the urge to visit or call the school frequently after dropping off their child. Checking up on them too often might make the child feel like they need to check on their parent often as well.
Give yourself a pep talk. One helpful strategy is to create a positive mantra, such as "This is the best place for my child," to remind yourself of your decision and its benefits for both you and your child.
Have patience with your pre-schooler. Know that it's completely okay to keep leaving the child if they keep crying. A complete and successful transition into school can take months, which might even prolong it further when there are family vacationsor breaks from school, where children are likely to regress. But rest assured that with patience, consistency, and support from both parents and teachers, children will eventually adapt to the new environment and routines of school. It's important to remember that every child is different and will adjust at their own pace.